Inference 101

1. I wouldn't eat after that two-year-old if I were you.
Inference: The two-year-old probably did something gross to the food you were
about to eat, or has a cold and you could catch it. Something bad will
happen to you if you eat it because he "I wouldn't" sounds like a
warning!
I think it means that the little two-year-old did something unforgetable and unforgiveable to the food you are about to eat.

2. For Valentine’s Day, my fantastic neighbor gave his wife a poem that took him
about two seconds to write. Sheesh.

Inference: My neighbor is not very considerate since he didn't take his time
writing the poem, the text clue that led me to this decision was the
"Sheesh". People usually say "Sheesh" when they are annoyed or
frustrated.
shhhheeeeeeeeeesssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!